The Unusual Word That Will Surprise You On This Blog

Dec 10, 2017

If I could find words to tell you how I feel and make you understand that I mean what I say, then this will be a great achievement (like Donald Trump’s library, because sometimes words don’t come easily). I realised I used the word “guess” a lot: I guess I don’t rewrite enough! Come on, let the good times roll! While I was looking for clues how to handle that delicate period until 2020, I found a very nice one: Leon Michels and his Affair. His message was very clear: check yourself, brace yourself, protect yourself, face yourself. Sorry that was Erykah Badu. Leon Michels told me I was a vague criminologue (maybe like a lot of people) and advised me to protect my neck. Those are simple clues, anything will do! So long I know that old funky feeling will soon be gone, because my legs will break if I don’t watch out. You ain’t been blue, until you get the Picture of Phrygian Purple: the mirror has been torturing me and I wonder if he’s got something to sell.

I’ll give you simple clues, anything will do. As long as I know one day this blog will be a useful resource. Overcoming post-traumatic stress disorder is a bit complicated; one can only make the best of the situation. Let’s work on prevention instead of cure.

Please Mr Postman, the Song

Baduizm is the debut album by American R&B and neo soul singer-songwriter Erykah Badu, released on February 11, 1997 by Kedar Records. After leaving university in order to concentrate on music full-time, Badu then began touring with her cousin, Robert “Free” Bradford, where she recorded a 19-song demo, Country Cousins, which attracted the attention of Kedar Massenburg. He set Badu up to record a duet with D’Angelo, “Your Precious Love,” and eventually signed her to a record deal with Universal Records. Two years after D’Angelo brought the organic sound and emotional passion of R&B to the hip-hop world with 1995’s Brown Sugar, Erykah Badu’s debut performed a similar feat.

While D’Angelo looked back to the peak of smooth ’70s soul, though, Badu sang with a grit and bluesiness reminiscent of her heroes, Nina Simone and Billie Holiday. “On & On” and “Appletree,” the first two songs on Baduizm, illustrated her talent at singing soul with the qualities of jazz. With a nimble, melodic voice owing little to R&B from the past 30 years, she phrased at odds with the beat and often took chances with her notes. Like many in the contemporary rap world, though, she also had considerable talents at taking on different personas. Upon release Baduizm was met with universal acclaim from music critics who praised the album’s musical style and Badu’s “artistic vision”; other critics noted similarities between Badu and Billie Holiday.

“A Child with the Blues” was received with universal acclaim, as well as the album it was released on. Badu had considerable talents at taking on different personas, like many in the contemporary rap world. This song is a beautiful mix of jazz, r&b and soul; and a beautiful testament about broken childhood dreams.

Baduizm was a commercial success debuting at number two on the Billboard charts and number one on the US Billboard Top R&B/Hip-Hop Albums, the album was awarded with a variety of certifications. The album was promoted with the release of four singles: “On & On”, “Next Lifetime”, “Otherside of the Game”, and “Apple Tree”. The album won numerous accolades including winning awards for “On & On” and a Grammy Award for Best R&B Album at the 40th Grammy Awards in 1998. Along with fellow contemporaries such as D’Angelo’s Brown Sugar (1995) and Maxwell’s Urban Hang Suite (1996), the album has been recognized by music writers for beginning neo soul’s popularity and helping the genre obtain commercial visibility at the time. Badu stated the album was inspired by her heritage, stating that during the recording process she was embracing her culture and African heritage, particularly head wraps and African drums.

Back to Bedlam, aka Almeria

A coffee machine that needs some fixing; I’m sorry but there are no trees here. I knew that my knees would never be the same for a long time. Motel, money, murder, madness: from glad to sadness.

Sorry Bagdad, I don’t have time anymore for that kind of compromise. Motel, money, murder, madness: from glad to sadness. Until musical insights help me, and maybe you. That old funky feeling, down to my shoe! This is how I feel when I’m reverse skydiving (not having to fret over a particular matter). A desert rose from Vegas to nowhere. Translate? Stranger’s coat and secrecy. If the coffee machine needs some fixing, then where do we start? Let’s try to troubleshoot a little. I’ve been locked inside that heart-shaped box for years.

I’m so tired of playing with that bow and arrow. Of course, giving my heart away is not an easy task. That kind of cancer is a very bad one: the shadow box. That kind of box allows you to do some things but, some very basic stuff is not addressed. Like work/life balance, like a sense of purpose, like strange games and funky things, like looking for clues when they are just under your nose. I guess I will start to watch out not to write too much the word “guess”. And I will start to watch out for that effort intolerance disease and oxidative stress, typical of people who work in very stressful environment like the police, soldiers, war children, bankers and more.

In the blink of an eye, you can see the light. Your tunnel vision is a dangerous one. You should try to restore confidence in you and them. Confidence in an oceanic feeling.

Everything can change, maybe not in a minute but maybe in 2 or 3 years. One song mentioned once: “the minutes change like seasons”. At the moment, I must confess I’m very cold. The weather in Paris indicates 4 degrees celsius. It’s only perception. I had friends who wanted to open windows during class while in Winter (a Polish friend). If the coffee machine needs some fixing, maybe it needs a bit of polish. Polishing is a broad term for a range of processes designed to either remove or mask sub-surface paint defects and greatly enhance surface gloss in readiness for sealant or wax protection.

I didn’t mean to give away those confidential information. A Polish friend who is resistant to the cold. I’m from Beirut, Lebanon, and thanks to Syria, I really feel like a Lebanese person. That’s why the cold is killing me. People will say: don’t get old, you’re going to feel the cold. But this is strictly a superb question. Mucus must be examined in case of fatigue or sickness. It is usually the place where most infection enter the body. In a nutshell, it’s a slippery aqueous secretion produced by, and covering, mucous membranes. It is typically produced from cells found in mucous glands.

I wake up every morning, and ask myself “who’s that?!” And it’s all because of you, lonely avenue. The ringing of the division bell has begun: I never thought I would lose that look in my eyes.

I feel so sick and lonesome, and it’s all because of you: the mucus aka the superb. Use your allusions! Once, I met Nelson Monfort, a French sports journalist who is famous for interviews. When I met him, I tried to salute him but he didn’t pay attention, just waved his hands and continued walking. Man, I feel like an alien: he didn’t know who I was. If he knew who I was, and people who read that blog will soon discover it, he would have stopped and invited me to Roland Garros for free. I love Roland Garros, the clay is so warm, unlike Paris and its Haussman architecture. Grey above, grey below, grey everywhere: why do I wonder I have a bad disease? I can’t find the love I want. Someone better slap me before I start to decompose. Pleasure is always spiked with pain. Some will say it’s normal: you want more, as if the concert was awesome. Don’t you know, heartaches don’t last forever. It’s just a matter of spacetime curvature and watch out for ripples.

I got a bad, bad feeling because that key won’t open this door. I do hope the sister of my ex-girlfriend will love me. Wait a minute: she doesn’t have a sister. She must be invisible, no one knows me anymore.

That’s not alright because, if fantasy is about compromise, then I have to change. Anything will do except that one! I won’t spend my life concentrating on my guitar to distract me from the essential. Guess what, who, when, how and why? I don’t want a friend, I just need a lover; to take my compromise away. That fantasy made such a devil out of me, that now there’s a shadow hanging over me. “Now that, my friend, is a clear-cut case of him or me. And you best believe”. I believe in love and the heart: a change is as good as a rest. Everything but Baghdad!

I want to get out of Rosenheim. Show me somebody who hasn’t been hurt! That’s a nice challenge. What we could do is rip off the mask and let’s see what injury it hides. As far as I’m concerned, I miss you, friends and family, like the dessert misses the entrée and the main course. The independent city of Rosenheim is located in the centre of the district of Rosenheim (Upper Bavaria), and is also the seat of administration of this region. It is located on the west bank of the Inn at the confluence of the rivers Inn and Mangfall, in the Bavarian Alpine Foreland. It is the third largest city in Upper Bavaria with over 61,000 inhabitants and one of 23 administrative centres in Bavaria. Rosenheim is therefore the economic centre and the busiest place in the region.

While I’m waiting for the mana from fans, I’m wondering if my entourage will wake up and give me a hug. Show me somebody who ain’t been hurt. I’m sorry, but that feeling of security is not expensive.

One day I woke up and I realised I didn’t know how to express myself. I couldn’t find words and, when I did, I thought: what a blessing! Of course, emotions are important but those emotions are based on your culture and your experiences. I listen to a lot of music; of course, I read sometimes and my conscience is clear. It’s about control and I’m sad because I’m thinking of putting out that fire in me, instead of controlling it. Control is about confidence: confidence in me, confidence in you and confidence in an oceanic feeling. In Paris, we have a degraded oceanic climate. And maybe it’s time to say goodbye! Those words do come easy! Finding words that is not difficult when you start to bleed. Call it cheap delirium but I do enjoy those words. I wonder what words you will use to comment! A four letter word maybe to ease the pain?

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If you liked that post or more generally my blog, don’t forget to go to my about page for details on “like, share, comment and donate”. In other words, this sounds serious and the more I face myself, the more I face a stranger. Trust and respect must be restored!

Could have never known that windows
Could hurt you so very bad
Could have never known that witches
Would make you feel so very sad
I don’t know what to do
I just feel so confused
I’m a child with the blues

Take your time smell the flowers
Oh yeah, make smile for yourself
Girl, don’t make livin’ so hard, so hard, so hard
I keep tellin’ myself
Feels like I’m goin’ away
Sometimes it ain’t all damn fair
A child with the blues

Sisters, sisters, I know you watchin’ me
There are lot of care reachin’ for you constantly
When you thing you’re grown you enterin’ the unknown

Baby, check yourself
Brace yourself
Protect yourself
Face yourself

Feels like my life is just existing
And I’m missin’ some one
It’s hard to replace the simple fact
Cause my lover is gone, gone, no, oh
Never too young to pay a dues
And if you’re walkin’ in my shoes
You’re a child with the blues
So blue, so blue

I can’t stop the float, it ain’t stop it
Of wet tears in my eyes
And if you’re any other many kind of women in pain
Woman in pain rely, rely
Same emotion we share
Movin’ fast but goin’ nowhere
Like a child with the blues

Child with the blues
Without the blue, blue, blue
A child with the blues

Nicolas Sursock

Nicolas is a musician. His work now focuses on digesting 10000 songs of jazz, blues, soul, rock, funk and electronic. He plays the guitar if he's not blogging!