What If Your Tumor Was Benign After All?

Jan 24, 2020

I was diagnosed with cancer ten years ago. They didn’t say what kind of cancer it was. Sometimes I like to think it’s like a concert, and the audience is shouting: “We want more.”

Sometimes tumors are benign, and sometimes they are malignant. In both cases, it means someone’s out there to get you or the other way around. But there’s one crucial thing: if it’s located in the brain, then it can’t be benign.

See, the brain is in charge of accounting. When you give all your soul and lose control, you expect some return on investment.

Should you do like Jimi Hendrix and remain calm if you stop having sex? Is sex that important, or is it about the test of time? Should you cherish this love, or are your reactions inappropriate?

I’m not a cancer expert, but I’m sure the test of time is the same for everyone. So how are we going to deal with the test of time? I guess there’s one proven way to do it: good accounting and a kind of objectivity that will make you immune to cosmic debris from your environment.

What’s The Simple Truth About Castles Made Of Sand?

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There’s something evident about the shelter you seek from this hectic life: castles made of sand fall into the sea eventually. Sometimes, I like to think sand in my universe means hypersensitivity.

Like me, if you spend your daily life in black because of someone who died long ago, then, of course, the shelter should be made of music and the outstanding number of friends you can get: jazz, blues, soul, rock, funk, and electro. Ten thousand songs, and more.

A proper castle should allow resisting invaders. Because it’s natural to be attacked, a castle should enable you to rest a little. Video killed the radio star, they say.

A castle made of hypersensitivity is a painful one, even though it can be debatable. One day I cried while watching a movie. Sometimes, I can fall asleep. But the castle shouldn’t be made of hypersensitivity.

It’s one thing to use one’s sense but what about coincidence? Statistically, this isn’t that surprising. Someone knowing about that might exploit that fact to make you feel sick and lonesome.

Should You Make A Wish And Have Clear Goals?

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If you want to move on with life, you have to have goals. It’s the key to motivation. For example, I know I’ll have trouble monetizing that blog if I don’t get 1,000 daily visitors. Instead of banging my head against a wall because of the lack of funds (three donations in two years), I’m concentrating on having 1,000 daily visitors by creating great content.

I’m sharing my favorite songs almost every day. A blogging prompt is helping me shout on the internet. Am I whispering sometimes? Do I make people dizzy?

A lot of emotions are preventing me from having clear goals in life. But one of my goals, since I was 18, was to make space affordable. And I think I found the problem of space travel: bones.

One day you will discover that you can cure the disease. And you will feel it in your bones. Crystal clear alchemy down here on Earth. When you go to the international space station, you discover we are under the same sun. Wouldn’t it be madness to fight?

Should You Ignore Urgent Deadlines Or Quality Headlines?

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You know you’re an open book for some people. They don’t ask you any question, and you don’t have to lie to them. That was the wrong side, and here comes the right side.

If you have a deadline, you can become productive. Of course, it will be a result of what you consumed, including books, movies, and music. Nonetheless, you can try to come up with something vague but precise.

For example, take this verse from Jimi Hendrix: “the night I was born, the moon turned fire red.” It could mean that women became angry and sad because there came another gift from God.

Another example is from The Police band: “giant steps are what you take, walking on the moon.” It could mean that you often try to do ambitious things to forget your former female partner.

And this is what’s great about art: it’s vague and yet precise. You need to have a lot of nuances if you don’t want to spend your life in black or white. You can have lots of shades of grey but isn’t life more enjoyable with colors? And those colors are here because the material absorbs and reflects. Colors will give you an indication of what you are made of!

What If The Cancer Was A Result Of Desire?

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To conclude, whether your tumor is benign or malignant, there might be one key to remember: It might be about feeling wanted or satisfying people’s needs.

When you play with desire, please don’t come running to my place when it burns like fire. By the way, you don’t know if it’s fear or desire. You’re afraid of this drug that takes you higher because when you come down, it won’t be straightforward.

Recently, I blogged about rock bottom and its benefits: You won’t go down any further in the bottomless pit. That pit is strange but it’s a classic one: you look up and you see the light. Of course, you will have to find a way to make your way back to the top. This blogging adventure makes me want to compete with the best like the HuffPost.

There’s an Arab proverb saying: “Beat your wife every morning; if you don’t know why she knows it.” You never treat me like you should. Then, you can hit rock bottom as this proverb describes. If you love me like you say you do, why do you treat me like you do? We’re all hesitating between solidarity and competition.

I dedicate this post to mothers: it seems they’re tired their children come to them when it burns like fire. By the way, another misheard lyric maybe. Sometimes I hear: “nothing swede about me”. We know Cilmi has nothing to do with Sweden.

Nicolas Sursock

Nicolas is a musician. His work now focuses on digesting 10000 songs of jazz, blues, soul, rock, funk and electronic. He plays the guitar if he's not blogging!