Lebanon and Europe got Talent, but It's our Last Chance

Dec 05, 2017

There must be something at the end of this road. Now I know the score: I chose the path where no-one goes but I hope we will meet again when I come home. I must be talented because I can see that my torturer was talented: a chemotherapy. Let’s meditate! Each time I try to walk away, something makes me turn around and stay. I can’t tell you how. You never forget the heart that makes you sing like this: the worst criminals of the 20th century… Their message was very clear: I know and you don’t know (guess that is an argument of a 14 year-old boy). Sometimes, I surprise myself, thinking that playing is important, and thus justifying this musical genocide. But seriously, they are easy lovers; they took my heart for a long time. And if we don’t do nothing, no Frenchman will ever win Roland Garros again (last time was 1983, the year where my parents moved to Paris).

Been locked inside that box for years. I don’t know if it’s glory, me and my shadow, or just a foolish heart playing the same old game with a different angle. Someone ought to give a shot in the head to people who are unable to recognise the talent of others and unlock their potential.

Please Mr Postman, the Song

“Lucky” is a song by Radiohead from their third studio album OK Computer (1997), released as a single exclusively in France in December 1997. During June 1995 concerts in Japan, O’Brien made a high-pitched strumming sound at soundchecks. A few weeks later, this sound had developed into a full song that became part of the set list. At this time, producer Brian Eno contacted Radiohead to contribute to The Help Album, a charity compilation organised by War Child to benefit children affected by the Bosnian War. All the band members believed that “Lucky” was the strongest song they had written at that time in their career. Regarding the line, “We are standing on the edge,” Thom Yorke said: “The history of our times calls to mind those Walt Disney characters who rush madly over the edge of a cliff without seeing it. The power of their imaginations keeps them suspended in mid-air, but as soon as they look down and see where they are, they fall.”

Radiohead received lots of praise for recording a brand new song for the Help album, but Ed O’Brien later admitted it was because the band were terrible at covers. They were ashamed that the single release flopped and didn’t make any money for the charity. Thom Yorke later described this track as “the first mark on the wall” for the album “OK Computer”. The song is a soft, ballad style song that starts off slowly with guitar strumming and gentle ride ticking before building into an anthem-style chorus. Throughout the entirety of the song, Ed O’Brien strums above the nut of the guitar. The verse is then repeated, albeit more upbeat. After a second chorus the song builds into an instrumental before finishing the last line from the chorus. The climactic qualities of the song are enhanced by the use of the choral sound on a Mellotron M400. “OK Computer” is the third studio album by English alternative rock band Radiohead, released in 1997. The members of Radiohead self-produced the album with Nigel Godrich, an arrangement they have used for their subsequent albums.

“Lucky” was written by Radiohead and the band thought this was their strongest effort to date. At first, the song was scheduled for a charity compilation organised by War Child to benefit war children, and it didn’t have success but the album “OK Computer” was a hit (despite their record label who deemed the songs uncommercial and difficult to market). Themes include rampant consumerism, social alienation, emotional isolation and political malaise.

Despite lowered sales estimates by EMI, who deemed the record uncommercial and difficult to market, OK Computer reached number one on the UK Albums Chart and debuted at number 21 on the Billboard 200, Radiohead’s highest album entry on the US charts at the time. “OK Computer” received widespread critical acclaim and has been cited by listeners, critics and musicians as one of the greatest albums of all time. It was nominated for the Grammy Award for Album of the Year and Best Alternative Music Album at the 40th Annual Grammy Awards in 1998, winning the latter. The album’s lyrics and music depict a world fraught with rampant consumerism, social alienation, emotional isolation and political malaise; in this capacity, OK Computer is often interpreted as having prescient insight into the mood of 21st-century life. Listen to the version of the album because I couldn’t find it on YouTube.

Back to Bedlam, aka Almeria

I’m going to shoot Almeria, a menace to humanity, the 16th district of Paris. The place where everybody wants to be! When I was a child the days were long, I could not wait to be grown and move from that district. Making it on my own, I never thought about it. People work in teams and that is a normal thing. But there is geopolitics: naive people will think the war is over. But it’s just the beginning. Unless someone can do something to prevent those strange incidents. A pocketful of what humanity calls: ghetto people, living behind walls without really knowing it.

In France, they often talk about their suicide but what they are really talking about is their politicians and their relationship to the world. These people are racist, arrogant and always play innocence even when proofs are raining like cats and dogs. What I mean is that the curvature of spacetime is making ripples and that is awful to witness. I love France and Paris but I am drunk with Almeria. Maybe it’s the Oedipus complex, a child’s unconscious desire for the opposite-sex parent, thought as a necessary stage of psychosexual development. Freud theorised that during life, it was that complex that was the most intense battle you would have to fight. Why not flight then, or maybe freeze a little?

People are strange in a box and they seem wicked when you have crazy old eyes. They say the eyes are the mirror of the soul. We had to go back, way back in time, when the only people that existed were young adults on the verge of taking control.

There is a Canadian humorist named Francois Perusse, who decided to have his take on that matter. In one of his sketch, a crazy person is going to a shrink and the latter asks his patient: “please describe the relationship with your mother”. The patient answers: “normal doctor, I made sure to use a condom”. Do you know what a shrink is? Historically, a headshrinker is a headhunter who preserved and shrank the heads of his dead enemies. Informally, it is a psychiatrist. As if our ego was a handicap when we want to face the world.

There’s a feeling I just can’t shake: I’m so tired of playing with that tortured persona. I can’t wait for a life less strange, with less misunderstandings. In the long run, my position is not sustainable. I was born under bombs from foreign countries and all people saw here in Paris is that I was spoiled, maybe. Too much love will kill you, just as sure as none at all. To make sense out of it, we have to go way back, back in time, when the only people that existed were teenagers. That oral fixation might also be important.

Mistreated my only child just because I can’t quit my evil ways. Of course, I have been tricked into that strange game: people who don’t listen to funk music but fail to sweat in real life. Severity and cruelty are our only delusions and dogma can do nothing because hygiene must be constant.

I can’t stand anything that makes me stop from going to jam sessions or start talking too much. What if someone mistreats his only child? Someone better slap me before I start to decompose. After thinking a lot, during 20 years because I have been sentenced by hesitation, I decided that the one who pisses me off was an old man. I guess I could find a lot of other influences that suck the life out of me, but this is an old man problem: loss of bladder control, pneumonia. When it comes to seduction, there is something called: trial of the body. The first one who laughs loses.

Laughing is good for the unconscious mind (remember it is complex). So, I came up with an idea: let’s simplify. I can’t quit you baby! You made me mistreat my only child! I hope it’s not too late and I’m going to do something good for my heart. This time I mean it, like President Obama, Syria and their chemical arguments. “Sir, this briefing is on early puberty.” When I get relaxed, I will take us out of recession. I do care, and you know why? The problem is not an old man but money.

They destroyed our nation and entourage because all they could think of was that everything was fake and they couldn’t make a clean slate of the past. I believe when I fall in love with you, it will be forever. Unless someone gives me a headache: the way to my heart is with a garlic clove.

The country I was brought up in fell apart and died. I had an eureka moment: the problem is aging. I have problems controlling myself sometimes, as in post-traumatic stress disorder (unprepared, helpless, unexpected). And also, I have troubles breathing which is a vital function the heart is responsible for. That might be why I smoke that much, because it allows to calm down the autonomic nervous system. How old am I exactly? Well, time for me is nothing because I’m kind of no age. On paper, I’m 37 but in reality I’m a former workaholic who will never win that desperate fight because of complacence.

Again, the problem with honesty is that it can be bad news. I guess we know the score now. Here I am again in this mean old town, and Lebanese people are so far away from me. Don’t get me wrong, I love Paris but I think the 16th district of Paris will soon annihilate humanity. Ghetto people living behind last will and testament. I hope someone will enjoy the role I had before as much as I did, because, in the long run, this is not sustainable. I ain’t faking this. My eyes keep filling with sand and although I have an open identity along the straits of imagination, I think I will go back to my roots: 300 days of sun a year.

 I can no longer hide, I can no longer run. I spend my days in my kitchen, playing with a knife that was supposed to open letters from the post office. The ground floor experience is full of little allusions, like 22 years on a pedestrian passage. If I’m still alive, that’s because the bad boys only drove motorcycles and bikes.

I still want to talk to the boss before leaving. Who is responsible for that awful mess and substance abuse? Is injustice compatible with happiness? Does your conscience bother you, tell the truth! Mine is troubling me a lot lately, mainly because of mirroring that are making me sympathise with my torturer. Maybe it’s Stockholm Syndrome, a condition that causes hostages to develop a psychological alliance with their captors as a survival strategy during captivity. They used to say it was very dangerous. What about your monolog and your dignity? Does it ring a bell? I know I have talent when I connect dots like that: monolog and dignity! An open identity along the strait of imagination… Of course, I could talk about trust and respect, the sacred and the profane, the pleasure and the pain, success and failure. But the only thing that matters to me right now is getting out of those feelings: I feel my luck can’t change! Do you feel that way also? Or have you ever felt that way?


If you liked that post or more generally my blog, don’t forget to go to my about page for details on “like, share, comment and donate”. In other words, this sounds serious and I might give up before being seriously injured by sailing into the mystic.

I’m on a roll
I’m on a roll this time
I feel my luck could change
Kill me, Sarah
Kill me again with love
It’s gonna be a glorious day
Pull me out of the aircrash
Pull me out of the lake
‘Cause I’m your superhero
We are standing on the edge

The head of state has called for me by name
But I don’t have time for him
It’s gonna be a glorious day
I feel my luck could change
Pull me out of the aircrash
Pull me out of the lake
‘Cause I’m your superhero
We are standing on the edge
We are standing on the edge

Nicolas Sursock

Nicolas is a musician. His work now focuses on digesting 10000 songs of jazz, blues, soul, rock, funk and electronic. He plays the guitar if he's not blogging!