How Can I Show My Worth?

Jun 14, 2019

One time when I was working in the banking industry, one of my coworker talked to me and told me: “now management understood the influence of Mr. XXX”. In French, they even managed to call that the weight.

I guess people who have weight problems have a problem of influence. It seems there is even a job called “influencer”. Most of the time, those people will have fat lips and make duck faces even if they’re 90 years old.

If you have a health problem, remember there may be a trader playing with your heart. A trader is person or entity, in finance, who buys and sells financial instruments such as stocks, bonds, commodities, derivatives, and mutual funds in the capacity of agent, hedger, arbitrageur, or speculator.

How do I know it can be linked to health? That’s simple: I know some people will find this funky. If you take the capacity in reverse order, and translate it into Arabic, you get “SAHA” which means health. I was blessed to have a triple culture.

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Why Would I Write Such An Obvious Thing?

Today I’m numb. But like real numb. As if the cocaine I didn’t take was still haunting me. Working in the banking business when you are an empath can be real tricky. As musicians you have to have empathy otherwise you won’t understand the song or the artist.

It’s true empathy demands a little effort and if you feel too much pressure is on you, then you might become exercise or effort intolerant. Luckily, my years spending time at home and listening to music are paying off today.

That’s why I chose this song from U2 on the album Zooropa. The European jungle is a civilised one but it’s still a jungle. Maybe you don’t risk your life on a daily basis but it’s still a jungle. Which means you have to be allusively perfect.

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Some Emotions You Discard Can Cost A Lot.

It’s incredible what I’m feeling right now. It’s as if I was a little boy and my education is not worth something. I remember the first time I cried on a song. Like Bachar al-Assad it was a Phil Collins song. What if we were wrong about Bachar?

We know Bachar al-Assad had advisors and we know those guys know so much about governing a country that they thought it was a classroom. Of course, since it was a class, some people were assassinated in front of everybody.

Maybe you also had to take a medication to cure your heartache. And now you jump out of your seat and you can’t compete. I’ve been to Syria when I was 19 years old to watch the stars. And I was really hurt when I discovered the political police in rage in front of my door.

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The Arab Spring Might Be About Van Halen.

They said the Arab spring failed: that’s because you got up but something got you down. Maybe you still wonder what was that chemical weapon that reminds you of your crime when you were just a child. And now you’re looking for a record machine but can’t find one.

Recently I was talking about America and their power: they focused on music and emotional intelligence. At the moment, my emotions are forcing me to caricature something called “Age 14 witchcraft”. You know it’s that dodgy moment when someone has to die.

Maybe being numb can make you happy: after all, there are so many reasons to be angry. As artists, we try to relieve pain for everybody. Of course, it was a mistake to work in the banking industry.

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What Kind Of Trader Made You Sick?

As a conclusion, if I had an advice for people around me, make sure you don’t have a banker friend. Those guys feel nothing deep inside and money is their only love. Why do they think there is safety in numbers? Have they never watched a show on TV?

I know what you think: why am I being such a prick with bankers? The real problem is the trader who will remind you you cost something to the company.

Trading is closely related to health: maybe you’re worth something in Amsterdam or Babylon? The bitterness inside is growing like the new born. When you’ve seen too much on TV or in real life.

Now I had an illumination: maybe all the persons surrounding me were virgins. Even the security officers. Otherwise, how could you explain the violence that was unseen for 14 billion years?

Now I’d like to quote DH Lawrence in “The Captain’s Doll”: “class hatred is so deep that it absorbs all the other feelings in its abyss”.

Nicolas Sursock

Nicolas is a musician. His work now focuses on digesting 10000 songs of jazz, blues, soul, rock, funk and electronic. He plays the guitar if he's not blogging!