Who Will Be The Last Prophet?

Mar 25, 2019

Yesterday I learned that Jesus was not the last prophet but the penultimate one. That’s why I’m not Jesus and will try to be the last prophet that will send mankind in space as if you went out of your house to have coffee.

I never wanted to be Jesus but it seems I already was when I was 12. Today I’m 38 and I’m experiencing near death almost everyday. And I must say it’s a rather painful experience.

But if I’m not the last prophet, what can be the reason? The main reason is that people offered Barack Obama a Nobel Prize for Peace instead of me. Why should I have the Nobel Prize?

That’s because most of you never heard about me but in 2010 I jumped all over the stage. Me and my crew we did great things and we made mission improbable a certainty. Nobody believed in us but I was confident that there was no crisis.

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What’s My Inner Bitch Like?

I already talked about that 20th-century bitch on my blog. It seems it was a matter of finding a toy. Something to play with! When I want to play with something I take my guitar and that’s why music is the best way to stay relaxed and in control.

There might be a crisis but the truth is this might become an opportunity to get rid of Alois Brunner who came to play in Lebanon’s gardens. I must say he’s a bad player and if you don’t let him win, he will destroy the arena.

The arena is not empty because I’m seeing cousins almost everyday. In the long run, no one can win at this game.

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The Eagle Will Learn To Fly.

Most birds are laughing at us human. They’re saying that it’s much more interesting from above. But humans are laughing at sharks still stuck in the sea! I guess we all need someone or something to laugh at.

Take for example my girlfriend who wants me to be a better a person. I agree but I might find a better girlfriend then. Ok, this was a joke that made me laugh but I don’t remember the name of the comedian (Anthony Jezelnik I think).

What I mean by learning to fly is the following: we know what will happen in space. So why be afraid? Ok, if we know what will happen, then we should pay attention to surprises. Like a supernova scene that we can understand.

What’s so surprising to fly high above the ground? But the best would to get out of the Milky Way in 5 seconds.

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This Time We Will Get It Right.

Since it takes 20,000 years to get out of the Milky Way at the speed of light, we might as well focus on teleportation NOW and get over that 20th-century bitch who brought us the wonderful underground where you can witness people commit suicide and be insulted on a daily basis.

Yes, we must forget NOW everything we knew or experienced and focus on teleportation so we can safely apprehend getting out of the Milky Way. 7 million years to go to space is like saying to someone you’re still a virgin at 40 years old!

What’s the problem with teleportation? Teleportation means traveling without really having to face the physical environment! You know it’s in our hearts. I used to work in banking and I feel like I didn’t take any holidays since 2002. So I could use some teleportation techniques to go to Paris to bring back my music stuff in Lebanon.

Make no mistake we’re wasting our time with the 20th-century bitch. The last prophet is the one that will help us get out of the Milky Way!

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Mother’s Milk And The Regurgitation Problem.

It seems the Milky Way is a safe place. We didn’t encounter any competitors yet. To the point where we’re wondering if we’re not alone in the universe. From a statistical point of view, this is highly unlikely. There are so many stars and galaxies that maybe other civilisations are still exploring their galaxy.

Can you play poker alone? Of course not. It’s so boring because what’s nice about poker is the social stuff. I played poker in a live room for several months and I must say it helped me feel like I had a job or something to wake up to.

Yes we need to wake up and realise we need to prioritise NOW teleportation so we don’t have to deal anymore with 1-hour commutes. When I was 22, I spent 5 years having 1 hour and 30 minutes commutes and the girlfriend I met at the time was still jealous of me. She had to walk 20 minutes to go to university!

This time we will get it right! The last prophet will go straight to the point and talk to us about leaving the Milky Way!

Nicolas Sursock

Nicolas is a musician. His work now focuses on digesting 10000 songs of jazz, blues, soul, rock, funk and electronic. He plays the guitar if he's not blogging!